Formerly known as FFXFan

I've decided to write a blog today because I've suddenly got this mood I can't shake off.

Let me firstly tell you how I got it, or at least, how I think I got it: I've just finished listening to Jeff Wayne's Musical Version of the War of the Worlds. It got me thinking that there's so much I'd like to do, but I don't think I'll ever have the time, or the money to do, for one reason or another. I'm not going to spend the time listing them, as they're just places I want to visit, or shows I want to see, so that part's really unimportant.

I guess I'm just in a state of mind where I feel I should be going out and experiencing things, and I'm not entirely sure why I'm not. Mum says I should get some of my holiday destinations done whilst I still have the money. She has a point, and I can't deny that, but I really want to move in with Mena this year, and as that's more important to me I dismiss what's said. A second point to add is that I wouldn't feel comfortable going on holiday on my own. Sometimes I feel lonely when I'm in my own bedroom, so I can only imagine how I'd feel if I went to a different country, so I'd rather have a companion to go with.

Herein lies the problem, and the only possible solution. For years now, I've always had this feeling that I should be doing more with my life, that I should be stretching my legs and doing something different, something new. Yet, despite this constant feeling, I've never gone ahead and actually done it. I've always put it off, or found a reason/excuse, and I'm getting to that age where I start to wish I'd done it. Sure, 22 and a half isn't old, but when I'm looking at moving in with my girlfriend and starting a family with her, and the various costs assorted with it, you naturally start to restrict your spending. At least, I start to restrict my spending.

So I'm finding myself waiting. I'm waiting to move into my own home, and I'm waiting for Mena to move in with me. I'm waiting for these things because I believe that they will release me from my self-imposed shackles, and allow me to finally go do the things I've wanted to do, and experience something different. Different countries, different cultures. I'm waiting for these things because I can take Mena with me, and we can experience them together, and I wouldn't feel quite so lonely, because I'd have somebody familiar beside me.

I know I said I wouldn't list any of the things I wanted to do, but here's the two main ones, and why I want to them. First of all, I'd love to go to Australia during Christmas. Now, you may or may not know that I hate hot countries, and if you know this then you're surely wondering why I'd want to do something as weird as going to Australia at Christmas time, a.k.a. the middle of Summer. Two reasons, really: One, it'd be weird to have December as the middle of Summer instead of July (and even weirder to have a hot Summer), and Two, how awesome would it be to be sat on Bonzai Beach on Christmas Day and ringing home, informing your freezing cold family that you're sunning yourself and having a Christmas barbequeue? That has always appealed to be, because it wouldn't just be a holiday, it would be something entirely new.

The second thing I want to do is visit Las Vegas. I'm not a gambling person, and I wouldn't visit Las Vegas to gamble, though I spose I'd spend an hour or so in a casino purely because it'd be crazy not to. I certainly wouldn't go crazy though, and I'm sure Mena would be very eagle eyed about that. No, the reason I want to go is because everything sounds so epic. I mean, they have hotels with shopping centres inside them, and everything is so large scale. There's even one with a roller coaster. A hotel with a fucking roller coaster! Of all the places I want to go in America (and there are a few), Las Vegas is the first place I intend to visit. The rest can wait.

Writing this blog is making me sit back and sigh, dreaming about things which could be years away yet. You never know, though, they may happen sooner, but whether or not I do them before I get married...I don't know.

I'm going to head off now, as I need a shower. I also need to start thinking of some ideas for a project I may be starting, but it's early days yet, so I'm not going to talk about it except in private to people who need to know. This time next week, maybe.

Till whenever,
-=Gavvie=-