Formerly known as FFXFan

Yep, I'm blogging about Our Favourite Fucktard, Dan! And now, his loverboy, Adam! Double the fun.

Firstly, Adam. Mainly because I've never blogged about him, ever, I don't think. Well, anyway, he talks to Mena nowadays instead of Dan, which leads to him bigging himself up as Dan's "replacement". Congratulations Adam, you've succeeded! You're now the butt of all our jokes instead of Dan. Well Done You!!!

For the past..fuck knows how many months, he's always gone on about how himself and Dan are always trying to one-up each other (no, not one-up-the-other, though I'm sure that goes on as well...), and he tells Mena because he thinks she might actually be interested to know. Which she isn't, but oh well. He apparently replaced Dan on the Wanker-I-Mean-Newark Pool team, which sent Dan into an OMGJEALOUSYEQUALSGAYSEX rage, supposedly. Dan reckons that he's better than Adam at pool, and brilliantly proved his point by losing to Adam twice. Yes, you are better. Better at LOSING. Hah!..ahem.

Oh, just for the record, I'm not homophobic or anything, it's just a bit of a running joke between me and Mena that Dan and Adam are dating. As a primary school Gavvie, I was always told that the more you hated somebody, it meant you loved them more. They supposedly argue an awful lot, so I bet the make-up sex is amazing...though I don't care to think about it too much. I want to sleep tonight, and every night, for like..the rest of my life. Now that my little disclaimer's out the way, onwards!

So apparently Adam ribs Dan about the fact that he's replaced Dan as Mena's favourite person. This, unfortunately, is far from the truth. Quite a long way away from the truth, actually. I don't know if you notice things in the style of writing she uses with you, but it's almost as if she's wanting the conversation to end so that she can get back to doing something infinately more interesting. It's the same as when Sina's being all MeMeMe with her: All "Mm's" and "Yeah" and "OMG, That's so wrong, man", when in all actuality she's enjoying something else, like a movie. That said, Sina's a completely different blog entry. Tomorrow, maybe. The point is that you're universally ignored, apart from when you say something so fucking idiotic that it gets passed onto me. And then it gets blogged ^_^

So, most of what Adam says is "Do you want to help me in bullying Dan? No? You sure? I'll keep it a secret". Basically, just like Dan, he can't take "No" for an answer, and will keep asking in the hope that Mena will change her mind and agree, just for the sake of it, which is never going to happen. However, we're going to leave Adam alone now, because he shall lead us onto the Dan section of this blog, which is where the fun begins.

Adam, being the little gossip bitch that he is, told Mena that Dan is still jealous that he doesn't talk to Mena anymore (something he's hardly done anything to aid, he hasn't spoken to her in over 6 months), and is also still heartbroken about the events of 18 months ago (see: "You should dump Gav for me. Honest"). This lead Mena onto posting a blog (found at deadcoffee if you're wanting more fun and games) about some of the amusing messages he left her at the time. I'm going to be a critic here, and post my opinions on a few choice quotes. Mainly the funniest. Here we go (original grammar left in):

"I always think about ur feelings first, before letting mine out"
First of all, this is a lie. The whole situation of 18 months began because you opened your horse mouth and told Mena that you fancied the hell out of her, and that you wanted her to dump me for you. You didn't give any thought to what you was saying, nor what the after effects of what he was saying would actually be. He just believed that what he was saying was the right thing to say, and that it would make Mena drop everything and come running into his open arms (and legs). So, if he was thinking about her feelings first, he was clearly misguided, and wasn't thinking straight.

"i get like feelings as tho ur the one, almost"
This one made me laugh when I read it. You see, at the time I said that sometimes I wondered whether or not I was right for Mena. He misinterpreted it to mean that I didn't think I should be with Mena because we didn't suit each other, and this is where the whole "Gav loves blonde haired girls with big boobs, and you're neither" idea came from, which I've mentioned in an earlier blog, somewhere. Dan also mentioned in one of the MySpace Messages that he was always sure that she was the one for him, and that this feeling would never change. So, you blatently contradict himself by saying that ^^^...well, it's just hilariously funny.

"when i browse, i look for a girl like u"
Welcome to The Internet^tm, where you can find The Girl of Your Dreams^tm! No, seriously, who the fuck browses the internet for girls, apart from perverts, paedophiles and stalkers? And which one of those three catagories does Dan fall into? Is there even a choice?

"if u had found me earliar this year, words wudnt be able to honestly describe the way id be. just imagining it now, you.. finding me.. messaging me... then being mine, and having a future, being the person to see u in the mornings, last thing at night.."
The main event. This whole event happened in December 2006, so the beginning of the year that Dan was jibbering on about was clearly January 2006. Now then kids, let's do some maths, yeah?

Me and Mena have been together for three years. The current year is 2008, so 2008 - 3 = 2005. Hm. Dan thinks Mena would date him if they met in January 2006, 6 months after me and Mena started dating. However, he also states that he'd never try to split anybody up for his own benefit (something he tried to do after he got tired of Mena), so...he's just a fucking hypocrite, isn't he? But I'm sure we were already aware of this, it's just funny to point it out each and every time he does it.

And here ends my blog, but before I do, a message to one of Mena's cousins: It's perfectly fucking fine to try a dress on. I know you're religious and everything, and you have to cover every square inch of skin up, but I'm sure there's one vice you have which you hide from everybody else (like, I dunno, a black boyfriend?) Mena's vice just so happens to be dresses...and me...and various other things. Judge people on who they are, not what religion they are or what they do. Makes for a stressfree life.

Cheers. Till next time, whenever that is.
-=Gavvie=-

PS: Aww, Adam, Mena doesn't appreciate you Boo Hoo. That said, you are an arsehole, so I can see where she's coming from. Nevermind, eh?