Formerly known as FFXFan

Hello. I'm back in my bitching mode again, and this one's gonna be even better than yesterday.

So then, Sina. Mena's "best friend", who I'm fairly sure has also had a blog written about her in the past. At the time, assuming I have written one about her before, I was moaning about how she assumed that Mena would always be there for her, through thick and thin. This eventually pissed her off no end, and she told Sina how she felt. Sina then vowed that she'd change her ways, and that's what she did. I stayed a little apprehensive of this, and my apprehension has been pretty much confirmed.

You see, she's reverted back into this state of mind which allows her to talk infinately about herself, and then as soon as the conversation starts to turn, she quickly shifts the attention back to herself. In any other case, this would be referred to as being an "attention whore", but I'm not quite sure whether we're at that stage yet, so I shan't use the term to describe it. Maybe later.

It's getting to the stage where I don't even think she cares about her friends anymore. I think she's in this bubble where all that matters is her and Prav, her on-again-off-again 'boyfriend'. They're currently on a break, which was Prav's doing, and congratulations to him. Because of the way she is, I think he's better off finding somebody a bit more consistent. If they ever get back together, I reckon I could count on one hand the number of days it'll be until they break up again because of some argument, which Sina always starts. She told Mena that she was going to leave him alone during this break, then 15-20 minutes later was trying to call him, wanting to talk to him. This just goes to prove that she's completely unable to follow somebody's honest advice, as Mena told her it was the right thing to do. Prav broke up with you to have some time to himself. I'm sure the last thing he wants is for you to be on his back all the time.

This blog is going to be a very fair, and very critical, account of exactly who you are. Everything that's gone wrong in your life recently has been YOUR doing, and nobody elses. This is something you're more than fully aware of, but for some reason you're not willing to do anything about it. If you're not going to do anything about it, then STOP FUCKING COMPLAINING ABOUT IT!!!! Seriously, it's annoying everybody hearing you moan about how your life is so shit, and how your parents treat you like crap, and that everything's your fault blahblahblahshutthefuckupalready. You had the power to keep your parents on your side. Knowing the consequences of your actions, you still agreed to go on holiday with Prav, so you can't complain about how life at home's so hard. You knew what you was getting yourself into, and you had the power to prevent that. The ball was in your court, you just decided to put the blinkers on and follow the path you was walking rather blindly. Now you're single, and I'm hoping the mistakes you've made are becoming more glaringly obvious.

Mistake #2: Not caring about your friends. You should be fucking grateful that you have a friend like Mena. She's always been an ear for you to moan into, but you've not changed at all. If Mena needs somebody to talk you, you're not the first person she turns to anymore, because you're just not interested. You're not interested in her as a person, or as a friend. I believe she's currently missing two birthday presents from you and a graduation present. TWO birthday presents. When she was around yours on Monday, and she asked for them, I believe you responded with "Here's your bag". This is completely unacceptable, you fucking stupid bitch of a friend! You should've been hunting them all down and apologising for taking so long to give them to her. To be honest, I'm even doubting that you bought any presents, using your own money for your own selfish gains, and to fund your oh-so-hard life. You have absolutely no right to call Mena your best friend/sister/lover/anything else you want to call her, and you definately have no right to assume that she thinks the same of you.

I'm writing this blog entry with the approval of Mena, I hope you know. She won't say these things to you, because she doesn't like making a scene, or trying to argue with somebody whose ears are closed to any voice besides their own. So, if you happen to read this, and you ask Mena about what you've just read, and what you're about to read, I can assure you that she's not going to disagree with any of this, so don't you even try and delude yourself for one second by thinking that it's just Gav having a go at you. There's two voices in this blog, so shut up and listen.

If I had any say in how Mena lived her life, I'd be telling her to ditch you, forget about you and move on. I'd be telling her to bin each and every letter she receives that's meant for you, despite telling you to change your address fuck knows how many times. I'd be telling her to delete each and every picture of you two together, to get rid of every moment of happiness you two have shared over your many years together. I'd be telling her to distance herself from you the way you've distanced yourself from her. It'd hurt her, and it'd cause god knows how much pain, but it's what would need to be done, to stop this whole charade from continuining any longer. Thankfully for you, I don't control her life, but it's still a suggestion that's made every now and then. Maybe one day she'll take me up on it, who knows?

One thing I do know: You can fuck off about attending our wedding. Sorry, but I don't want you there. I don't want you there as a bridesmaid, as a guest, or even as a fucking floor sweeper. I don't want you at the reception, I don't want to accept your congratulations on us tying the knot and committing ourselves to each other for the rest of our lives. In my mind, it would be a fake congratulation, because it's us getting married, and not you. And to be honest, I wouldn't feel like celebrating either if I saw you there, so stay away. That's an order.

So, what have we learned today? We've learnt that you're not able to keep your friends as close as your should. We've learnt that you've possibly burnt a few bridges between yourself and your "best friend". And we've learnt that there's absolutely nothing you're gonna do about it. Oh well, in the end, it's your loss, and nobody elses. Hope you learn to live with it one day. If not, then you'll learn to the tough way, when Mena isn't around for you to talk to.

-=Gavvie=-

Yep, I'm blogging about Our Favourite Fucktard, Dan! And now, his loverboy, Adam! Double the fun.

Firstly, Adam. Mainly because I've never blogged about him, ever, I don't think. Well, anyway, he talks to Mena nowadays instead of Dan, which leads to him bigging himself up as Dan's "replacement". Congratulations Adam, you've succeeded! You're now the butt of all our jokes instead of Dan. Well Done You!!!

For the past..fuck knows how many months, he's always gone on about how himself and Dan are always trying to one-up each other (no, not one-up-the-other, though I'm sure that goes on as well...), and he tells Mena because he thinks she might actually be interested to know. Which she isn't, but oh well. He apparently replaced Dan on the Wanker-I-Mean-Newark Pool team, which sent Dan into an OMGJEALOUSYEQUALSGAYSEX rage, supposedly. Dan reckons that he's better than Adam at pool, and brilliantly proved his point by losing to Adam twice. Yes, you are better. Better at LOSING. Hah!..ahem.

Oh, just for the record, I'm not homophobic or anything, it's just a bit of a running joke between me and Mena that Dan and Adam are dating. As a primary school Gavvie, I was always told that the more you hated somebody, it meant you loved them more. They supposedly argue an awful lot, so I bet the make-up sex is amazing...though I don't care to think about it too much. I want to sleep tonight, and every night, for like..the rest of my life. Now that my little disclaimer's out the way, onwards!

So apparently Adam ribs Dan about the fact that he's replaced Dan as Mena's favourite person. This, unfortunately, is far from the truth. Quite a long way away from the truth, actually. I don't know if you notice things in the style of writing she uses with you, but it's almost as if she's wanting the conversation to end so that she can get back to doing something infinately more interesting. It's the same as when Sina's being all MeMeMe with her: All "Mm's" and "Yeah" and "OMG, That's so wrong, man", when in all actuality she's enjoying something else, like a movie. That said, Sina's a completely different blog entry. Tomorrow, maybe. The point is that you're universally ignored, apart from when you say something so fucking idiotic that it gets passed onto me. And then it gets blogged ^_^

So, most of what Adam says is "Do you want to help me in bullying Dan? No? You sure? I'll keep it a secret". Basically, just like Dan, he can't take "No" for an answer, and will keep asking in the hope that Mena will change her mind and agree, just for the sake of it, which is never going to happen. However, we're going to leave Adam alone now, because he shall lead us onto the Dan section of this blog, which is where the fun begins.

Adam, being the little gossip bitch that he is, told Mena that Dan is still jealous that he doesn't talk to Mena anymore (something he's hardly done anything to aid, he hasn't spoken to her in over 6 months), and is also still heartbroken about the events of 18 months ago (see: "You should dump Gav for me. Honest"). This lead Mena onto posting a blog (found at deadcoffee if you're wanting more fun and games) about some of the amusing messages he left her at the time. I'm going to be a critic here, and post my opinions on a few choice quotes. Mainly the funniest. Here we go (original grammar left in):

"I always think about ur feelings first, before letting mine out"
First of all, this is a lie. The whole situation of 18 months began because you opened your horse mouth and told Mena that you fancied the hell out of her, and that you wanted her to dump me for you. You didn't give any thought to what you was saying, nor what the after effects of what he was saying would actually be. He just believed that what he was saying was the right thing to say, and that it would make Mena drop everything and come running into his open arms (and legs). So, if he was thinking about her feelings first, he was clearly misguided, and wasn't thinking straight.

"i get like feelings as tho ur the one, almost"
This one made me laugh when I read it. You see, at the time I said that sometimes I wondered whether or not I was right for Mena. He misinterpreted it to mean that I didn't think I should be with Mena because we didn't suit each other, and this is where the whole "Gav loves blonde haired girls with big boobs, and you're neither" idea came from, which I've mentioned in an earlier blog, somewhere. Dan also mentioned in one of the MySpace Messages that he was always sure that she was the one for him, and that this feeling would never change. So, you blatently contradict himself by saying that ^^^...well, it's just hilariously funny.

"when i browse, i look for a girl like u"
Welcome to The Internet^tm, where you can find The Girl of Your Dreams^tm! No, seriously, who the fuck browses the internet for girls, apart from perverts, paedophiles and stalkers? And which one of those three catagories does Dan fall into? Is there even a choice?

"if u had found me earliar this year, words wudnt be able to honestly describe the way id be. just imagining it now, you.. finding me.. messaging me... then being mine, and having a future, being the person to see u in the mornings, last thing at night.."
The main event. This whole event happened in December 2006, so the beginning of the year that Dan was jibbering on about was clearly January 2006. Now then kids, let's do some maths, yeah?

Me and Mena have been together for three years. The current year is 2008, so 2008 - 3 = 2005. Hm. Dan thinks Mena would date him if they met in January 2006, 6 months after me and Mena started dating. However, he also states that he'd never try to split anybody up for his own benefit (something he tried to do after he got tired of Mena), so...he's just a fucking hypocrite, isn't he? But I'm sure we were already aware of this, it's just funny to point it out each and every time he does it.

And here ends my blog, but before I do, a message to one of Mena's cousins: It's perfectly fucking fine to try a dress on. I know you're religious and everything, and you have to cover every square inch of skin up, but I'm sure there's one vice you have which you hide from everybody else (like, I dunno, a black boyfriend?) Mena's vice just so happens to be dresses...and me...and various other things. Judge people on who they are, not what religion they are or what they do. Makes for a stressfree life.

Cheers. Till next time, whenever that is.
-=Gavvie=-

PS: Aww, Adam, Mena doesn't appreciate you Boo Hoo. That said, you are an arsehole, so I can see where she's coming from. Nevermind, eh?

...Mena will be home, and I'll be speaking to her on the phone, and everything will be as it was over two weeks ago. Well, not exactly on the same day, but you know what I mean, I hope.

So today's been a strange one. I got a call from Martin this morning at 9:25. That's Specsavers Martin, not my uncle or TK Maxx Floor Manager Anyway, they had what's called a Fundus (I may have spelt that wrong) Camera turn up, which is basically a £16k camera that takes a photo of the back of your eye, and they wanted me to pop in so I could be trained on how to use it. The selling point of going in today was that I'd work this afternoon, and then tomorrow morning, so I'd be splitting my day off in half. Seeing as Mena comes home tomorrow, I quickly agreed to do it, because then I've got more time to speak to her, and everybody's happy. So yeah, here I was thinking I'd finally get a DVD day, and I still don't get one XD Ah well, there's always Sunday.

This camera's pretty funky, Once the engineer people who were installing it were done, we were pretty much pratting around with it all afternoon, figuring out how it works and what patients would be seeing etc etc. Very nifty piece of kit. It's gonna scare old biddies to death though, so caution is most definately going to be a good thing. I would let you know how I get on, but odds are I'm going to be going back to odd blogs again now, so...blah. You might find out, you might not.

Unfortunately, the music making's taken a bit of a step backwards, in that I may have broken a somewhat essential part of the program I use, namely the PoiZone plugin. What's happened is this: I was running a virus scan the other day, and it brought up PoiZone's .dll file, saying that it was infected with a Trojan. Me being me, I just pressed delete and thought nothing of it at the time. So yesterday, when I fired FL Studio up to have a listen to what I've got, I got a pop up message saying that the PoiZone plug in couldn't be found. Then it all clicked, and I realised that I'd actually deleted the plug in. So, seeing as most of the tracks I had were using PoiZone in one form or another, I'm sure you can understand why I've ran into a bit of a brick wall. When I've got more than a few hours to spare, I'm going to have a hunt around on the Net, trying to find the same plugin that won't be infected with a Trojan or some crap. What makes this stranger is that I got Toxic III from the same site, yet the scanner didn't flag that up. Very odd. Still, yeah, at the moment Living Sedative, Overdose and my self titled work are all at a bit of a standstill.

I shall close this blog with something directed at my darling Mena, so I'm going to be breaking the fourth wall just a tiny bit. Babe, I hope that you've enjoyed reading these last 14 blogs. They've probably been a bit rambly, and boring, and shit like that, but at the end of the day I'm sure you'd expect nothing less of me Nah, in all honesty, I'm really glad you've enjoyed your holiday, and I'm glad that you've come home safe and sound. It might sound like a really corny thing to say, but I am. Still wish that I'd gone with you, because of all the things you've gotten up to that sound really fun, but that just makes me smile inside. Now that I know what kinda things you'll want to do when we go on holiday, I know that it's not going to be like the holiday's I went on with my parents. I know that I'm going to enjoy myself with you, and that we'd go off and do stuff that we want to do. It makes me happy to know that.

These past two weeks, I've felt like I'm missing something integral to who I am. Don't get me wrong, I've coped, but there's been times where I've just felt like I'm not entirely me. It's hard to explain, and it's probably harder to understand if you haven't felt it yourself, but hopefully you can understand what I'm trying to say, at least.

In short, I'm glad you're back, and I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. I'm glad that I won't be going to bed, thinking that something feels a bit weird because I was going to sleep without talking to you on the phone first. But first and formost, I don't want to sound selfish. I'm glad you're back and everything, but more importantly, I'm glad that you've had two weeks of fun, doing stuff you wanted to do (and stuff you thought you'd never do!)

I love you babe xxx
-=Gavvie=-

Bit of a classic saying, that, but it basically means that there's two more evenings until Mena comes home. I couldn't think of anything else to put as a blog title, and I did sit here for around 15 minutes trying to think of one.

At the moment I'm watching Chuck, and it's still making me giggle on occasion. I'm hoping Virgin 1 pick up Season 2 rather quickly, because I don't wanna load the episodes and watch them online. They're so much better on a big screen. That said, I don't want to wait too long for Season 2, either. Decisions decisions.

Work was a bit 50-50. This morning, it was rather stressful. I had to serve an 88 year old lady, who for the life of her couldn't sit still. She was quite a stable old lady, but every time I asked her to stay still when I wanted to take some readings, she'd either look elsewhere, or just move out of the way. It must've taken me about 15 minutes to get any sort of readings on the first test, and I didn't even bother with the other two. It was so frustrating, when she'd left, I leant back and let out an internal sigh of relief.

It didn't stop there though. All the way throughout the morning, I just wasn't having a good time. I wasn't getting anything wrong, I was just taking longer than usual to get it done. Thankfully, once I'd had some dinner and an hour to sit down and let it all wash over me, I was fine. The rest of the day went without any annoyances, apart from the onset of a headache, which wasn't very welcome, especially as most of Specsavers' lighting is very bright.

Tomorrow's my second day off for this week, as I'm having to work Saturday. I'm not quite sure what I want to do at the moment. I'm either going to make it third time lucky and have a DVD day, or I'm going to fire up FL Studio and try to at least get the music finished for that song I'd promised Mena I'd have done. I've had a complete lack of ideas recently, which is quite distressing as I really wanted to have it finished, ready for her to listen to. I guess if I get the music finished she'll still be able to hear it, and then I can focus on writing and recording some lyrics as and when I'm able. It'd be a shame if I can't finish it off though.

I also need to look up show times for The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, as me and Mena (and maybe some of her friends) are going to be watching it in a week's time. Once I've got showtimes pinned down, I can start to finalise her birthday party. I did say I'd get that sorted before she came back, and right now nobody's actually given me a concrete Yes or No, which is actually a little disappointing.

On that note, I'm going to be off now. I've decided that, seeing as I don't need to be up early in the morning, I'm going to entertain myself with a film, and I'm thinking that I'm in the mood for either Planet Terror or Death Proof, which I picked up a week ago with The Number 23. Already watched that. It wasn't bad, but to be honest the twist was pretty poor, as was the actual ending of the film actually. I'll watch it again with Mena sometime though, see what she thinks of it.

OK then, night night people! Until tomorrow, the last day of my 14 Days of Blog!
-=Gavvie=-

Well, I got around to watching one film. I ended up watching 28 Weeks Later, mainly because I've always wanted to try and figure out how they managed to mix Wembley Stadium with the Millenium Stadium, and now I've sussed it. Basically, they superimposed the actual Wembley Stadium (which at the time of filming was basically the seats and the roof, with the arch) behind the Millenium Stadium. The giveaway is the video screens at each end of the pitch. Watch the film and you'll see what I mean.

So, as the blog title suggests, I ended up playing WWE SmackDown vs Raw 2008 instead, mainly because I fancied some grappling action, and I don't have any films that would've come anywhere close. Mainly some horror films and the like, though I suppose there's always the confusing storylines of The Bourne Ultimatum to consider. Hmm...

The end of Mena's holiday is in plain sight now, and I'm quite looking forward to when she comes back, even though I'm at work that day, and then there's a driving lesson at half 6 to consider as well. My plan for the evening is to get on the phone with her as early as possible, and stay on the phone with her for the rest of the evening. We are going to have a lot to catch up on, as I'm sure I've said more than once before in the past week or so. Regardless, you have no idea how much I'm looking forward to her birthday. I've bought her 20 presents, and I've decided that her 21st present is going to be a fucking huge cuddle...once we've put her present bags down. I imagine it'd be a bit of an awkward cuddle if we were still holding those

Well, I've got nothing else to say. I'm off for a shower now, so I'm all nice and clean for work tomorrow.

Good bye!
-=Gavvie=-

I don't quite know how I managed to do it, but I've wrapped up all of Mena's birthday presents today. After wrapping abour 6 or 7 presents, it suddenly dawned on me that I might've needed a third roll of paper, but that proved not to be the case. They still look shite though, because I've never been any good at wrapping presents. Ah well, it makes them unique

That's pretty much all I've done today. I tried calling Mena at tea time, but the signal was appallingly poor, and I could barely hear a word she was saying. It was a bit annoying, but then she couldn't hear me very well either, so I would assume it was equally as annoying for her. It was a little funny in a way, I thought that her being indoors would've meant that the signal would be clearer, but it wasn't. Weird.

I received a postcard from Mena today as well, which has taken pride of place in front of my DVDs, as I have nowhere else to put it at the moment. Still, it was very sweet, and I'm glad it arrived before she got home, as I know some countries take longer than others to post postcards and stuff like that. I'm gonna keep it forever

Oh, I watched Serenity this morning. It was a little bit confusing, but then I've never watched Firefly, so that might've helped out a little had I watched that beforehand. Still, it wasn't a bad film, just very confusing.

Right, I can't really say a lot else other than that. Tomorrow's going to be my DVD day that I couldn't have last week because I had to arse around with my uncle's PC. So yeah, lots of DVD watching fun to be had tomorrow, if I don't end up watching the French Grand Prix instead...

Until tomorrow people
-=Gavvie=-

Hello. I didn't get time to blog again yesterday. I didn't get home until 12:30. Yes, I know, I'm a dirty stopout Still, it was oddly a good night, so..I dunno. Might have to do it again sometime, but not when I've got other stuff planned for the same evening. Was a tiny bit rushed.

I rang Mena today. In future, I'm gonna ring her from my other number, as it turns out the call didn't actually fall under my contract, so I've got £25 going on top of my £35 bill XD Ah well, nevermind. It's for a good cause, I wanted to speak to her because I haven't done since Sunday, and it was a very nice conversation, though I was a bit gutted to learn that she was coming back Wednesday. Well, I say I "learnt" it, but in all truth I've just never been able to remember. I've always been told since before she left that she was coming back on Wednesday, but for some reason I've always thought that she'd be back on the Tuesday. Shame really, because I'm off on Tuesday, and I've got a driving lesson booked for Wednesday evening, so we're not going to have as much time together as I thought we would.

My first week at Specsavers is over, so I guess I can pass judgement on how its been. I've enjoyed it. Seriously. I always wondered whether I was better suited to a smaller shop, and I guess the truth is that I am. As I said a day or two ago, the job I'm doing now is a lot more important than anything I was doing at TK Maxx, as there's a very small margin of error. You can't be giving the optician the wrong information, because it makes his job harder, and that's not what you're meant to be doing.  In addition, everybody who works there are very friendly, and it doesn't seem like they're segregated into little groups of friends either, which helps me out a great deal, as it means I can get to know everybody and not feel left out.

Actually, speaking of that, I apparently have to have a Specsavers Christining, where they're gonna take me and Mike (the other newbie) out for a staff night out. I'm all for it, but I did point out that I don't drink, which may or may not have been a wise thing to say, but oh well, it's been said now. I'm sure it won't be a problem...I hope it won't be XD

Simple things amuse simple minds. I've just put a little animated GIF of Michael Jackson in a MSN window, and he's dancing in time to One More Time by Daft Punk. Bless his little pixellated heart XD

OK, so tomorrow I'm wrapping birthday presents up. It's my favourite time of the year, mainly because I'm useless at it, and it's always quite hilarious to see what wrapping I end up doing. Half the time it doesn't turn out too badly, and the other time it looks like a five year old wrapped it. It's quite funny.

Anyway, I'll tell you more about that tomorrow. Time for me to stop writing

Until tomorrow!
-=Gavvie=-

Hey. I'm in the middle of about 6 things, so I'm just gonna blast through the main points of interest, using bullet points

• Work was alright, not as great as yesterday, but can't really complain. Was still a good day, and was still better than any day TK Maxx could muster.
• I have a driving lesson in just under half an hour. Not looking forward to it, but then I never am, so nothing new there.
• I'm going around Nick's later, hence this rushed entry. He text me earlier asking if I wanted to, and seeing as everybody's saying that I should go round and see him, and that I've got nothing better to do, I decided to say yes.
• I bought Mena's wrapping paper and card today. Also got another secret special present, which wasn't all that expensive so I thought "eh, why not?"

If I have the time, I'll go into these with a bit more detail later tonight. I just wanted to put something up, as I said I'd blog daily, and needed to write something for today.

Until later, hopefully
-=Gavvie=-

It's so strange, enjoying work. It's a feeling I've not had since I was at Game, and even then that was before things went shit. Still, I guess I should explain exactly what I'm on about, so read on.

Yesterday, as you know, I was in Nottingham, and we managed to get two days worth of training down in one day. Again, you know this, because I wrote it down yesterday. Fast forward to this morning, and when I got to work, Tracey (Assistant Manager) was stood outside the back entrance, having a crafty fag. When she saw me, she waved, said good morning and said that she'd heard that I'd done rather well from Harry (lady who did the training yesterday). Knowing that Harry had rang my store yesterday to tell them that we'd done, I thought nothing of it, and went inside. Then, Martin (Store Manager) saw me, pretty much came running up and said "Super Scholar! Two in one, two in one!", which made me smile a little.

And it just kept happening. I had fellow members of staff coming up to me and congratulating me on a job well done etc. I even had both the store Directors come up to me offering congratulations. Nigel (one of the Directors) even went so far as to ask me if the Dispensing side of the business appeals to me, which I must admit does, and I told him as such as well. I've only been in store two days. People have also noted that I've settled in more today than I had on Monday, which is good to hear. It usually takes me ages to settle into a new job, so to have done that in three days is a very good thing for me.

Today, I've been pre-testing, which basically means I've been doing a couple of quick tests with each patient, before they go off for their eye test with an optician. I was working with Nauris, who is quite a laugh, so we had fun for most of the day. I've also had staff coming up to me and saying that I'm doing a good job with this as well, so it was hard for me to make my way home at the end of the day without a smile on my face, as I'm sure you'd agree.

The reason it feels strange is because I'm used to being made to look like I'm stupid, or incapable of doing a job which I'm given to do. Tash had a habit of doing this all the time, and it fucked me off, so being able to get on and do a job (which is infinately more important than anything The Spaxx could get me to do. After all, this is a person's health I'm dealing with here), and then get congratulated on a job well done by Nigel at the end of the day is a very big thing. Instead of waking up in the morning and thinking "Ugh, work", I'm actually looking forward to it because I feel like I'm actually improving myself, and this in turn is progressing my job from just being a job into a career.

Speaking of waking up, the oddest thing happened this morning. I went to bed around 11:30, after I'd had a shower and shit. After texting Mena to say good night, I normally reduce my phone's volume level from 5 down to 1 or 2, and then leave it by my bed, just in case she found the time to text back, and last night I thought I'd done the same. At around 12:45, she sent me a message back. Here's the odd bit: I can't remember it.

I remember falling asleep with my phone still next to my pillow, and when I woke up, it was on top of my CDs, where I usually leave it when I go to sleep. I also noticed that I'd left the phone volume on level 5, and then noticed not long after that that I'd got a message from Mena. Now, I've checked with parents, and they were both KO'd, asleep, so they didn't hear my phone's message tone go off. I don't recall getting woke up by it either, yet I must've woke up, checked the message, cancelled out and then put my phone on my CDs, and gone back to sleep. Level 5 is a very loud volume level, and not only that, but my phone vibrates. I'm fairly sure that there's no way it wouldn't wake me up fully, yet somehow it didn't, and it's confused the hell out of me all day. I guess it's something funny that's filled a couple of paragraphs, at least.

And on that somewhat humourous note, I shall leave you. My blog should be another interesting one tomorrow, as I've got a driving lesson at 7 until 8, so I'll probably babble on about that. On top of that, I'm hopefully going to have another cracking day at work, and it's an Anniversary day. 35 months with Mena, and I can't even celebrate it with her Can't actually remember the last anniversary we spent together. Well, there's always next month. Three years ^_^

Night people
-=Gavvie=-

Hi there! First things first, I'm aware a made a bit of a loophole yesterday, because in my video blog I said I'd write more about stuff, and then in my blog I ended up linking to my video, but hey, nevermind. You don't mind, do you?

I was in Nottingham today, doing my induction training course for Specsavers. It turns out there was only two of us there, and the other person was a bit annoying. He didn't seem all that willing to do his own work, and was constantly looking over my shoulder for answers, especially when they were sat in front of him. Thank god for my scruffy writing ^_^

Anyway, because there was only two of us, we managed to cram two days' worth of training into one, so I'm staying in Grantham tomorrow, yay More sleep for me...hopefully. I've not been sleeping very well the last couple of days. This is probably because I'm so used to waking up at 6:45, instead of 7:50, which is my new wake up time. I'll get used to it soon, I'm sure

At some point this week, I have to go and buy Mena's birthday card and wrapping paper. I'm thinking I should pop out during my dinner at some point this week and buy it, seeing as Clinton's will be shut by the time I finish work in the evenings. Not sure what day to go, though. I'm thinking Thursday, as I need to pop into town anyway to top her phone up. May as well get everything done at the same time.

The plan is to get all the wrapping done this weekend, so it's done by the time she gets back from holiday next week. Then I can tease her with the mystery present, because it'll be wrapped up and she won't know what it is ^_^ Not that she'll know what it is anyway, I'm not gonna give any clues away at all. Don't want her figuring it out too early, you see.

So, as the blog title suggests, it's been a week since she went away. It's gone quicker than I thought it would, even though on occasion it feels like it's been longer. Still, being at work all day everyday is definately helping to make the days pass, and being in a new job where I can be enthusiastic and where people seem to be treating me as a person, and not as a piece of shite on the bottom of their shoe, also seems to be helping out. Kinda wish you were here at the moment baby, so you could see just how much I've changed since you left, but hey, you'll see it when you come back. I highly doubt this'll be a temporary thing..I hope it's not a temporary thing

Anyway, I shall leave it here. I'm wanting an early night tonight, and I'm yet to have a shower. I'll try and talk more about my job tomorrow, because I've not done an awful lot of that yet. But then, if I've not done an awful lot to begin with, there isn't an awful lot to say We'll see how it goes.

See you in 24 hours ^_^
-=Gavvie=-

Hiya, it's me again

I dunno how I managed to do it, but I got LSTV filmed. Still, because of that, I've not had time to work on music. That's gonna be done the rest of this week, hopefully. I also have to sort out Mena's birthday party, which I'm gonna start this evening whislt I'm watching Chuck, which is a brilliant series. If you've not watched it, Season 1s out on DVD on 18th August, go buy it.

I really don't know what to say today I think I'm just gonna link you to LSTV Episode VI and leave it there. Not an awful lot else to say, unfortunately. Have fun watching, and I'll catch you tomorrow:

Seriously, I wish I was allowed to make my own decisions. If I say something's fine, then it's fine. Please don't keep ignoring me and doing what you think is best. It pisses me off, and that's not something you want to do, especially when it's job related.

So I have these shoes, yeah? They've got this little, tiny hole in the front of them. Well, I say tiny, it's actually pretty big, but you'd never notice it, unless you went looking for it. Mum, being Mum, went looking for it. I don't actually know what she was doing to my shoes (I assume she was cleaning them, because there was this awful stink when she walked in, and it wasn't a "Hi, I smoke 20 a day, maybe" stink either), but she came waltzing in and was like "Look!"
"Erm, yeah. It's been there ages."
"Well, you could've told me. You'll have to buy some new ones."

Wait, hang on. Those cost me £30, and it's a small hole. Nothing major. Besides, when you're serving people in a shop, they're unlikely to be staring at your feet. I wore the same pair to my interview, and they didn't seem to care too much, Still, Mum's Mum. She'll do what she wants, regardless of what you tell her. That's why I've got a new pair of grey trousers, when I was gonna wear a black pair. I'm surprised she didn't go and buy me some similar looking shirts, because I only have 3. If there was a roll eyes icon on MindSay, this would be the point where I'd use it. It's ridiculous. I shouldn't be arsing about like this, I should be looking forward to starting a new job. Yet, here I am, worrying that now I won't be making the right impression, and that I'll be seen as some sort of nuisance. Cheers Mum, you really know how to wreck a mood. Hope to high heaven I move out within the next year, because I want to feel like, when I make a decision, it won't be overturned.

OK, that's enough of that. However, I'm gonna keep moaning because I've been on the go for most of the afternoon and evening, despite having this day planned as being a nice relaxing day before my first day at Specsavers. That plan was ruined yesterday by Darren and Dad.

Question: How do you fix a computer that isn't broken?
Answer: I don't fucking know, but I was expected to do it.

As you'd expect, I couldn't fix it (Insert fake look of shock here). Turns out they thought the RAM was lower than it should've been, but it wasn't. It was exactly the same. It took them 3 hours to figure it out, whereas it took me 15 minutes. Wasn't even worth the hassle. So, what I did was to advise Darren to get some more RAM, and told him how to install it. After all, I'm not a hardware person, so I wouldn't be able to do it. That was ignored, and now I'm gonna have to struggle through a memory card installation at some point in the future. It's not that hard to do, so it's not gonna take me long, but it's another instance of me being ignored. I may as well be deaf, dumb and fucking blind. But, hey, at least I'm considered to be deaf, dumb, intelligent and fucking blind. Bit of a contradiction, sure, but nevermind.

As a result of all this arsing about, I've not actually done much in way of relaxing. I think I'm gonna take next weekend off. If anybody wants anything from me, tough shit. Next weekend's long overdue Me time.

Oh, Mena called me today ^_^ Probably my only bit of sunshine today. Was nice to speak to her, even if she did sound a bit croaky from too much shouting in clubs. Didn't get to say a lot, as she'd put credit in the payphone for 10 minutes worth, but ah well, was still the best 10 minutes of my life since she left on Tuesday. Getting ever closer to the halfway point of her holiday. We talked briefly about a couple of days on her holiday, and some things that have happened in my life, although to be honest she had the more interesting stories to tell. I don't think I'll ever hear a time where the words "I love you too" are the best four words you've heard in a long time. Maybe at a wedding, but there's plenty of time to go before then. I think.

K, I'll leave this blog on a high note. I'm not sure how I'm gonna fit it in, but LSTV Episode VII is out tomorrow, and then I'll write something down for Day 6 of Mena's holiday here. Not sure yet. We'll see.

Have fun.
-=Gavvie=-

I really hate it when I don't think before doing things.

I went to pick up my Specsavers uniform today, and when I got around to trying it on, I realised that the trousers were a size 32 waist. Around a year ago, this wouldn't have been a problem, but now I'm a 34 waist. Hopefully you can see where I'm going with this. Basically, I have to look like an idiot on Monday and say that they're too tight, and request the next size up. So much for having a good first day, eh? Now I'm just gonna come across as being a nuisance, which is exactly what I didn't want. Ah well.

I'm still having issues with my driving. It seems the first 10 to 15 minutes are always shit, and the other 45 to 50 minutes are fine. At the moment, this is something I'm going to have to live with. Today I wasn't in the mood for it at all, so to have actually had a 85% good lesson is something of a surprise. I've got another lesson on Thursday at 7, so hopefully that'll be alright, if I don't feel too tired after a day at work. I shouldn't, but then who knows? It's an anniversary date, so that might make things better.

Got a bit teary eyed about an hour ago. Mena left me a message on Facebook, saying that she was missing me loads. I kinda wish I was online at the time, but I was faffing about in town getting uniforms sorted and shit, so I missed her I can't believe it's only been four days, it feels like so much longer, but at the same time it feels like the days are whizzing by, so she'll be home soon. Still have to wait another 3-4 days after that until I can actually see her and cuddle the fuck out of her, but I can guarantee that, when she gets home, I'm gonna be on the phone with her all evening. Lots to catch up on, no doubt, like the guy she smacked seven shades of shit out of. That sounds like it's gonna be a funny story.

Is it ironic that Miss You by Feeder's just started playing on WMP?

So, I was hoping that tomorrow would be a nice, lazy day where I could catch up on some DVDs, but now I have to attempt to fix my Uncle's PC. I'm not sure what he's done to it, but he reckons it's going really slowly all of a sudden. I'm not sure people realise this, but I'm really not all that big a computer boffin as people seem to think I am. Sure, I know what I know, but I can't just pull solutions out of my head. Let's see what the problem is. I'll let you know, because it's bound to be ridiculously simple.

Right, well, I best leave this here, I've had the page open for about 20 minutes, and I can't think of anything extra to say. It's Fathers Day tomorrow, so I'll no doubt have something to natter on about.

Until then.
-=Gavvie=-

My tenure at TK Maxx has come to a more than welcome end, yay. Unfortunately, I was unable to go ahead with my plans to screw them over, as I ended up being in the middle of it all, and they'd gone and ordered some change anyway. Nevermind, it's the thought that counts.

OK, so I still haven't taken an MGS4 picture, and I don't think I'll bother now. To be honest, if you look on eBay you can find a picture easy enough anyway. It's already doubled in value, so the £80 is most definately money well spent now. I think it might settle around the £100-150 mark once the initial rush has died down. Not a bad investment at all.

I'm going to tell you about Overdose. A few weeks ago, I was sat in the cash office at TK Maxx, thinking about how I wanted to try my hand at some heavy metal tracks. However, the more I thought about it, the more I realised that heavy metal was never going to be a genre that suited Living Sedative, so my thoughts started to drift towards starting a new project to cater for it. And that's how Overdose was born. Unlike Living Sedative, there's no set release date for any music as yet, though I'm looking at having an EP out early in 2009. I'll tell you more as and when I'm able. There's only the one track produced as yet, which is the one I told you about yesterday (A Sombre Introduction).

Today's been a pretty slow one. I actually finished eating around 20 minutes ago. Dad said this morning that he'd ring me when he was finished at work/boozing, and then he'd go to get tea. I found out at around 6 that he'd gone to the pub, and was about fed up of waiting and was starting to get ready to make food around 10, which is when he called me. I spent the next hour or so listening to him babble on about shit I didn't care about, and trying to explain to him that there wasn't any football highlights on because they show the highlights of the first match after the second one. This didn't sink in at all, and he must've spent around 5 minutes scrolling through every channel he could think of trying to find highlights. Idiot.

Work was surprisingly good natured. It was confirmed that nobody had bothered to get me a card other than Sam, which I will be going to pick up tomorrow. Quite looking forward to seeing what they are, actually. But yeah, Tash couldn't even find in herself to say bye. I even had to walk past her twice to get my coat and MP3 player and stuff. Still doesn't bother me, because I was never expecting her to say anything, but it would've been nice had she just said "Bye", or "Good Luck". Everybody else was kind enough to say one or the other. Dad, in his drunken state, reckoned I should write a letter to TK Maxx's upper management. Not quite sure why I'd want to do that, but ah well, I can't be bothered to argue with him. It wouldn't get me anywhere.

Right, I'm gonna be shooting off now. Not really got an awful lot to say today. I bought myself some new clothes, figured I best put my staff discount to use one last time before I lost it, but that's about it really. I'm sure tomorrow will be more eventful. Pressies and driving lessons, and stuff. I'm gonna try and get some more music done as well, though how likely this is depends on what ideas I can come up with.

Ten days tomorrow until my baby comes back Yes, I am counting down the days until I get to speak to her on the phone again. Call me sad, I don't care.

G'night people.
-=Gavvie=-

You know, it's funny. In yesterday's entry, I was going on about how I felt fine, despite sounding mopey whilst I was writing my blog, and as soon as I press "Publish", I start to feel lonely. It's a feeling that hasn't left me alone today, so I'm assuming that Mena's absense has struck me now. I've not been in a particularly merry mood today, because I can't help thinking about how much fun Mena's having right now, and how little fun I'm having. As I might've said yesterday, she's out having fun, and I'm working which, whether it be at Specsavers or TK Maxx, isn't really going to be all that fun. Still, I'm not gonna dwell on that for the third day in a row, so let's move on.

It turns out I will be getting a card from work...well, from Sam, actually. He told me this morning that he's gone and got me a card and a present. Dunno what yet, mind, because he forgot to bring them with him to work, so I'll find out Saturday, when I take my uniform in. Naturally, I'll tell you then.

Speaking of Saturday, one thing I'm not looking forward to is my driving lesson. I've given it much thought, and I've decided that I'm probably just one of those Crap Drivers that people always moan about. Who knows, after some of the mistakes I've made, maybe I'm already moaned about. Still, I've had 13-14 lessons, and I'm still making basic mistakes, so something's up. We'll see what happens this weekend.

There still hasn't been anything monumentally important for me to talk about, I'm afraid. Work was pretty slow and boring, partly because of my state of mind, and partly because the jobs I was given to do were rather boring and uneventful in themselves. It will be interesting to see what happens tomorrow, though. In theory, I shouldn't be in the cash office anymore, but I don't know whether Tash will follow the rules or not. I'm not fussed either way, and I'm not quite sure which one I'd prefer doing.

One thing I am looking forward to is extra sleep You see, I don't start work at Specsavers until 9, so I can afford to wake up at 8, which is 75 minutes extra sleep than what I'm getting now, so I should start feeling more relaxed and stuff fairly shortly. Some days my mood is purely down to how tired I feel. It can make my happiness rather muted, or it can make my sad and lonely days worse, so having extra sleep is definately a plus, even if all it does is help me decide whether I'm happy or not.

I said I'd take pictures of my MGS4 Limited Edition boxset, and I didn't. I'm sorry. I'll take some tomorrow, I've got longer to do it. Not really been in the mood to do much today, as evidenced by the fact that all I have done today, since coming home from work, is watch three or four episodes of Transformers. I did have a bit of a headache though, so that's why I decided to take a day off from gaming. Normal service should resume tomorrow.

Oh, tomorrow's Friday the 13th, which I'm not looking forward to. I've never been superstitious, but apart from one or two occurances, there's always something that goes wrong for me. The mix of my last day at work and Tash seems less like a coincidence now. I have a feeling she's gonna bollock me for something, anything, just to try and stick the knife in one last time before I go. The joke's on her though, I've employed a couple of failsafes just to show them why they shouldn't rely on one person to do everything. I'll tell you more about it in the next couple of days.

In music related news, I've started on a few new tracks, one of which is a version of I Hope You Listen to This Song Everyday, the track which will eventually be about Mena. It's a bit heavier than I would've liked it to be, but at the moment I'm just toying with ideas, so I might tone it down. I've also completed work on the very first Overdose track (announcement tomorrow), which is called A Sombre Introduction, and I've got a couple more Living Sedative demos in the works, one of which is called Voyage into the Uncharted. I quite like that one, it's definately on my "To Finish Soon" list. Also on that list is Cold Spot on the Sun. It's 1:44 long at the moment, but I want the finished track to be around the 7-8 minute mark. I've got a track called Demo 2, which has a bit of a Final Resolution sound to it (you know, it sounds like it wraps things up), so I think that might be the track I end up calling Going Out With a Bang.

Speaking of going out with bangs, it's about time I wrapped this blog up. Tomorrow I shall tell you what Overdose is exactly, I'll get around to showing you MGS4 pics, and I might mention how my last day at TK Maxx went. God, how I've looked forward to this day. Since around December 2006, in fact LONG time overdue.

Until tomorrow
-=Gavvie=-

P.S. I promise not to feel lonely when I press "Publish" tonight.

It's been my first full day without Mena today, and I still don't think it's sunk in that she hasn't been around. It probably will over the weekend, when she's not there to speak to when I wake up, but until then, I might be alright.

I must admit, this morning I was annoyed a little. I asked Mena to text me when she got off the plane, and she said she would. I asked her again the last time I spoke to her, which was around 20 minutes before she boarded, and again she said she would. The next text I get, she's sat beside a pool relaxing. So...where's the message I'm meant to get when she gets off the plane? It's all fine now, because at least I know she got there OK. No harm done

I'm also feeling a little jealous now. Yesterday I wanted to be there with her, today I really want to be there with her. She sent me a message telling me that they were going to a beach party, and later on I got another one saying that she'd been dancing in front of a group of people and that they'd got a video taken, so she'd be able to send me it. That's cool and everything, and I can't wait to see it, but I kinda wish I was there in person to have seen it. I've never seen Mena dance, and it feels like I've missed out on something. I'm sure I'm gonna get that feeling a lot over the next two weeks, so it's probably best to get it out of my system as early as possible.

Jesus, it must sound like I'm in a bad mood today, but I'm not. I can't quite say my day's been as eventful as Mena's must've been, but it's still been a pretty good one. Apart from a few packs of sweets, I'm now in possession of all of Mena's birthday presents, so I can now look at getting some wrapping paper and cracking on with getting that done. I'm probably going to do it next week, though, as I'd really just like to relax over the weekend. Not gonna happen, what with having a driving lesson Saturday afternoon, but still, I can hope Through some sort of miracle, I also received two items which I wasn't particularly expecting until tomorrow, namely Coldplay's new album (Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends), and Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots Limited Edition, which I'll say now is well worth the £80 I spent on it. I'll take some photos tomorrow and post them, because if you try looking for pictures of it on the Net I doubt you'll find any. I shan't talk too much about it though, because I wanna keep spoilers to a minimum, and you're best off finding things out when you play it. Which, if you own a PS3, you should. But play the first three first if you haven't already, yeah?

Moving on, and there's just one thing that amazes me about Coldplay: just how often they're able to change their sound, and yet still sound like Coldplay. The new album (their fourth, if you don't really pay much attention) doesn't sound anything like X & Y, which in turn didn't sound like the album before that. Despite this, it's still very much a Coldplay album, and so if you liked them before, chances are you'll like them just as much now, if not more. My favourite album is still X & Y, but this one could soon be up there with it. Great album, and deserving of the #1 spot it's bound to get on Sunday, in any case.

I'm not sure if anything of note will happen tomorrow. In all honesty it'll probably turn out to be a "Here's How Work Went" entry, as I'm there all day, so...blah. Last full day I have to do, and then it's just an easy four hours on Friday. Hurrah! I very much doubt I'm gonna be getting a card though. Don't think anybody really cares that I'm leaving, if I'm honest. And to be honest, I don't really care if I don't get a card Save the environment, don't waste it on me! Lol.

Yes, that's probably the first time I've ever wrote "Lol" in my blog. I'm not gonna go check though, I'll just guess and say that it is.

Right, well, I suppose I should make a move and go to bed. I wonder what interesting things Mena'll be doing tomorrow whilst I'm slaving away for the Overlords at TK Maxx....Sigh,

Night people. Until tomorrow.
-=Gavvie=-

So here we go, the first proper blog entry without Mena around, and I'm gonna reveal everything. Mainly because I told her the basic jist of it earlier, so it was something to look forward to. Anywho, here goes: I'm going to write her an album.

When I told her, she said that I already had, as all of my Living Sedative albums are dedicated to her, but this one's different. Every track on there is going to be about her, or some quirk in our relationship. I might even write one about arguments, so that I can have a heavier track in there to break all the mush up I'm not really sure right now.

What makes this different to my conventional Living Sedative releases, and the soon-to-be-properly-announced Project Overdose album, is that I'm actually going to release this under my name. The reason I'm doing that is because I don't want it to be seen as a side project, even though it is. I want it to be sentimental to her, and hopefully it'll come across as such, even if it turns out crap. Which it will, we all know I can't sing XD

As far as song titles go, I've got a couple in mind. One I'm definately doing, though, is called I Hope You Listen to This Song Everyday, and this might double up as the album name. Others I have in mind include In My Blood, and Where We Met.

As I leave this topic alone, here's some lyrics, as a taster for what's coming up:

I Hope You Listen to This Song Everyday
I hope you know,
That you're the best thing in my life.
And I hope you know,
That I want you to be my wife.

I'm sure you know,
I love you more than I can ever say.
And so I hope,
You listen to this song everyday.

And I love you,
I love you more than words can say.
And I hope you,
Listen to this song everyday.

In My Blood
You make me laugh,
You make my cry.
You make me wonder,
Why I should try.
To make things better,
To make things good,
And I remember,
It's in my blood.

You make me happy,
You make me sad.
I sit in silence,
When I get mad.
Then things get better,
Just like they should,
And I'm so happy,
You're in my blood.

If they don't work out as songs, the lyrics will be posted in PostPoems, so they're not being put to waste. Unused lyrics are also going in there as well, so I should be able to give you a few goodies at the end of the week. I'm going to have at least one song done, so here's hoping.

Moving on, and as I said at the beginning, Mena has gone now. Right now she's on her plane to Egypt. I still wish I was going. Today's been so hard for me. I've been trying to keep my emotions in check because I didn't want her to get upset. That, and she told me not to start crying else it'd set her off God, I sound so depressing recently. I'll cheer up soon, promise. Anyway, I'm currently coping with it better than I thought I would be, but that's probably because I'm keeping myself occupied. It'll hit me when I go to bed, I'm sure, and if it doesn't, it'll hit me tomorrow. But yeah, I still wish I was on that plane right now, watching whatever film they're showing, and being next to my love. Wouldn't get much better than that.

Well, that's all for today. Tomorrow, I'll talk a bit more about..erm..well, progress on the song, I guess. And what I've done, if it's interesting, or what's on my mind. It's been a while since I've tried to do daily blogs, and I'm clearly a little rusty Nevermind, eh?

Right, well, good night. I shall speak to you all tomorrow.
-=Gavvie=-

Hi. This is going to be the first of two blogs today, and that's because I wanted to get one wrote before Mena left to go to Egypt. The second one will come later tonight, and I'll go into a little bit more detail about a few things that I don't want her to know about just yet. Hence the blog title, you see.

So, as I told you last week, I have a new job, and I start it on Monday. I shan't go into too much detail, because then it gives me something to babble on about on Monday in the next LSTV video, but needless to say I don't think I've been looking forward to starting a job so much since I was leaving Partners to go to Game. I will of course inform you as to how I get on.

Speaking of LSTV, next week will see the start of a brand new MindSay blog. I was musing about it the other day, and after some discussions with Mena over whether or not it would be a good idea, I've decided to go for it. No harm done, at the end of the day.

Basically, it's gonna be a blog that will be dedicated to the LSTV videos and nothing else. When it opens on Monday it'll already be 15 entries long, as each video will occupy it's own entry. I'm doing this purely for ease of use, as I'm aware that I'm not the only person who does videos called LSTV, so it saves going onto YouTube and searching. You could also subscribe to me on YouTube (LivingSedative), but in fairness, the easier something is, or the more options you have to do something, the better. It also means that this blog can continue to focus on being about me or my music, and it keeps the video blogs seperate. I'm gonna be in the process of making a kick-ass blog layout for it later on this week as well, based on the current Season 4 opening credits, so keep an eye out for it.

Whilst I'm in the announcing mood, I'm also keeping myself busy with a little project of mine. For a while now, I've been interested in doing comics. First off I started remaking AWFF the Comic, but I stopped when I realised that I wasn't doing it for the right reasons. Then, I started planning a series called Legends Inc., which also fell through. Now, I intend on doing a series called The NEW Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog. It's gonna be a comic/animated cartoon series, and I'm in the process of making the teaser trailer for it, which I'm aiming to have done rather soon, as I'm nearly finished with the animating bit. It's going to be a weekly series, with three comics and a cartoon at the end of the month.

The comics will be standalone, and usually just a four panel strip which focuses on a particular event. There may be times where comics will encorporate a little story and run for two or three weeks, but nothing major.

The cartoon is a little different. They will have a story arc (as such) which will run over the course of two or three months. The first episode's a nice little idea I've got regarding Super Sonic and Dr. Robotnik (no Eggman crap here!), so hopefully you'll like it. Whilst characters will speak, it'll be in the form of speech bubbles and not spoken word, which should work out to be heaps better.

I'm aiming to have the series primed and ready to start for around September, though do be aware that this is me we're talking about, so I don't actually know when it'll be done

And finally - The surprise mentioned at the top. I'm not going to say anything other than the following: It's musical, but isn't related to Living Sedative or Project Overdose (which nobody knows about yet, because I've not told you what it is) It'll be done by the time Mena gets back from Egypt, and that's a cast iron promise. It's my number one priority, and I'm going to continue to work on it until it is finished. And it's not just one track. It's about three.

For everybody bar Mena, tune in tonight for Part II, where I'll be a little more specific, but not much, because chances are Mena'll read it before she's meant to know what it is

See you soon!
-=Gavvie=-

A few months ago, I made a vow that I would be out of TK Maxx by the end of August, shafting them the way I myself had been shafted.

Today, I can happily reveal that this is indeed happening. I'm handing my notice in tomorrow, and should be starting at Specsavers by the end of June. I'll know more on Monday, so I'll let you know then. I'll also go into more details about how all of this came about. Don't have the time to write it all right now.

In other news, Tuesday will see the launch of a new series of blog entries. Basically, I'm gonna be writing daily for two weeks, so that Mena can read them all when she comes back from Egypt. Tuesday'll count as Day 0, because that's the day she leaves, but yeah. They'll have individual blog titles, based on the day's happenings, with the day number at the start (Day 0: Goodbye TK Maxx - I Kept My Promise, for example).

So yeah, I'll update on Monday about my new job, and what I know, and then Tuesday should be an emotional one. Two weeks without Mena, how the fuck am I gonna be able to cope?

Goodbye TK Maxx. Sept 2006 - June 2008.

-=Gavvie=-

I saw Mena today, and needless to say it was very good fun. It was very good fun three times, in fact, each one more fun than the one that preceeded it, even though it started to hurt after.

Anyway, without wanting to go into too much more detail, today rocked. After my little downer a couple of days ago, it was nice to see Mena and kiss and cuddle her, and feel comforted. Shame I won't be able to see her for a fortnight, but nevermind, exams are a higher priority than me, and rightly so. I'd much rather see her pass her exams and do really well, than come see me and risk doing poorly. I'd feel really bad, and guilty, if I was to blame for something like that.

So yeah, today with Mena was really fun. A good six hours of snuggling, with a little bit of pigging out thrown in for good measure. All in all, a really good day, which was nice. I know I only saw her on Saturday, and that was a really good day, but there's nothing that compares with just climbing into bed next to the love of your life, cuddling up and just laying there, doing absolutely nothing at all. It's just simply amazing. Plus, she's great in bed Seriously, I'd love to tell you how much, but I'm not one to kiss and tell, I'm afraid. You'll just have to make do with the occasional mention here and there, if you dive through blogs looking for that kinda thing. And if you do, SHAME ON YOU!

Something else I love about Mena which I realised again today, is just how considerate she is. I don't think she likes to show it often, and I'm not really sure why, but she should. For those of us who are privilaged to be close to her, we can be 100% sure that Mena's gonna look after us, so long as we do the same to her. I don't think I've ever known anybody who cares so much about their friends, or rather I've never been friends with anybody who's like that. It's a great feeling, and I always wanna keep it close to me, because it's amazing.

Prior to my amazing day with Mena, though, my driving lesson this morning didn't go too well. I'm not gonna go into great detail about it, but after two weeks of good lessons, this week felt like a step backwards. Hopefully things'll go better next week, and I can start going back in the right direction.

And now to the meat of my blog entry: One of Mena's "best friends". I'm using quote marks because, even though she thinks she's Mena's best friend, she couldn't be further from the truth.

You see, just before Christmas she decided she wouldn't talk to Mena anymore. There wasn't any provocation involved, they just kinda drifted apart to the point where Mena never got a Christmas greeting. I never really condonded this kind of behaviour, and told Mena this.

Around the beginning of January, they had a heart-to-heart chat and rekindled their friendship, with Mena mentioning that her friend had to put more effort into their friendship, as it was clearly obvious to all involved that Mena was putting more effort in. They agreed, and everything was fine, though I must admit I was a bit apprehensive. It seems I was right to be so.

No fewer than four months later, the same thing has happened, and I don't think her friend is entirely aware of it. If I'm being honest, and I should be, it horrifies me. Her friend is being very cheap, even going so far as to put off buying a book for £5. It's not a lot of money, yet Mena is still waiting for it, nearly 6 months or so after she was told she'd get it. It's a book that her friend had borrowed off Mena, and then promptly decided to destroy whilst reading it. I've only heard what Mena's said, and not actually seen it myself, but from what I've heard I don't think I'd want to accept a book back in that sort of condition. Add this to the fact that she's still missing her birthday present from last year, and you can see where I'm coming from.

Yesterday, I was speaking to her and said that Mena would like the book for her birthday (I was wrong on this part, but I wasn't fully aware of it), along with her present from last year. I was told to stop being clever and sarcastic. I'm sorry, but I was being neither, I was simply telling somebody who is clearly unreliable that she should really stop letting everybody down.

To further enforce this point, for the past two years she's tried to arrange something for Mena's birthday, as a surprise. The first year, when we had a get together, she arrived 90 minutes late and didn't even apologise. Then, last year, she mentioned that she was planning a picnic and a trip to Legoland. This was the last we heard of it. We didn't even get told why these plans had fallen through. And this year she's wanting to arrange something again. I told her it was up to Mena, and almost had my hand bitten off because Mena shouldn't know about these things. I'm sorry, but you should know Mena better than me. The fact that I know she won't want to do anything special and you don't...well, I don't even know how you can't know that.

Finally, she's never around when Mena's wanting her to be there, yet she always expects Mena to be there for her when her relationship with her boyfriend breaks down (and it frequently does). Her friend claims that she's always at fault, but never seems to want to do anything about it, instead deciding it's better to just kiss, make up and then argue again three or four days later. To make matters worse, this has been going on for around 2 years, or thereabouts. You would've thought that she'd get the message (YOUR RELATIONSHIP ISN'T WORKING OUT!!!!), but she doesn't. Hope you get the message now. If you're worried about him cheating on you, and you can't trust him, why the fuck are you still with him? You don't have anything without trust, and the sooner you realise this the better.

However, first you need to fix your relationship with Mena, and put in the same effort she puts in. If you don't, then you're gonna lose her forever. She won't be there for you the next time you fuck your relationship up. She won't be around for you to claim to be arranging a birthday party. You won't even get invited to one if we decide to arrange it. Furthermore, I doubt you'd get invited to our wedding, an event you claim you're definately turning up to. Hate to break it to you, but unless you treat Mena the way she deserves to be treated, after all she's done for you, no, you're not. I'll make sure of it.

Get your fucking priorities right, and get them right fast. Mena's starting to get sick and tired of it, and you have no idea how much fun we have at your expense.

That'll do for now. Cheers for reading.
-=Gavvie=-